tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13000573094686770002024-03-13T15:33:45.307-06:00GingerSNAPs and VODKASmelling Roses In The Morning, Needing Vodka In The Evening!Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1300057309468677000.post-80400565609971640012011-12-07T11:45:00.000-07:002011-12-07T11:45:52.207-07:0038 Years Ago Today<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aOSum_ViNjM/Tt-qYBGHUBI/AAAAAAAAAbM/9KF9GY-oTNo/s1600/imagesCAXCORIH.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aOSum_ViNjM/Tt-qYBGHUBI/AAAAAAAAAbM/9KF9GY-oTNo/s200/imagesCAXCORIH.jpg" width="150" /></a><strong><em>"A mother’s womb is technicolor; it gives birth to any kind and character of children." Ethiopian proverb </em></strong><br />
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On this day, 38 years ago, a beautiful queen gave birth to baby girl she named Valerie Anne. Knowing her time in the physical world would soon be coming to an end, she nurtured, molded, and instilled the morals and values that would carry her through a life she knew she would not be a part of.<br />
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Today, my birthday, 38 years later, while I was out buying myself a celebratory birthday cupcake, I'm wondering if I have made the memory of my mother proud. Have I lived the life she had planned for me.<br />
Furthermore, have I have made <strong><em>myself</em></strong> proud. Have I spent 38 years <strong><em>living</em></strong> on this earth, or wasted 38 years simply <strong><em>occupying</em></strong> this earth.<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iAuHN064Z74/Tt-qmML60RI/AAAAAAAAAbU/uFGkeU9HcLI/s1600/imagesCAU9X1HH.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="141" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iAuHN064Z74/Tt-qmML60RI/AAAAAAAAAbU/uFGkeU9HcLI/s200/imagesCAU9X1HH.jpg" width="200" /></a>To say I know the answer to that question wouldn't be true. Honestly, there were times in my life where I believe I have lived, but I also many times spent being nothing more than an occupant. Just <strong><em>'going through the motions'</em></strong>. Existing.<br />
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For the first time, I don't have a plan for the rest of my life. I don't have a goal for my future. My oldest daughter is almost 19, in college, and trying to figure out her place in life, my 2 youngest will be reach adulthood, God willing, in a few years. So, what is next for me?<br />
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Much of my life has been spent trying my hardest to prepare my children for life. Doing everything I can to offer in my children the knowledge that will allow them to spread their wings and providing the tools that will enable them to fly. <br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8EOfPjKcos4/Tt-yVro76dI/AAAAAAAAAbc/2-H5MzEJsfc/s1600/imagesCA41RT1T.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8EOfPjKcos4/Tt-yVro76dI/AAAAAAAAAbc/2-H5MzEJsfc/s1600/imagesCA41RT1T.jpg" /></a><br />
But, when my work is done, what is next for my life? It seems finding the answer to that question is path my journey has led me to. The choices I make and the answers I receive will determine my adventures for the rest of my life. <br />
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<strong><em>"Life is a message – listen to it. Life is a belief – trust it. Life is a gift – accept it. Life is love – think about it. Life is an adventure – dare it." Northern Sotho proverb from South Africa</em></strong><br />
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<strong><em></em></strong><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/314/74147BDD6A0CAF05485C131D1909AF79.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1300057309468677000.post-20555075662389155102011-11-23T15:07:00.000-07:002011-11-23T15:07:39.806-07:00A Day In The Life Of Crazy<a href="https://encrypted-tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRnQyp8s_nYze8SGAdouxIxaJ15CuRrh9GPiTVd16EuBR-061gXlQ" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://encrypted-tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRnQyp8s_nYze8SGAdouxIxaJ15CuRrh9GPiTVd16EuBR-061gXlQ" /></a><strong><em><span style="color: blue;">'The worst thing to call somebody is "crazy". It's dismissive. I don't understand this person, so they're crazy. That's bullshit! People are not crazy. They are strong people...Maybe the environment is a little sick.'</span></em></strong> - Dave Chappelle<br />
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From the moment I heard the above words being said (in 2006), it soon became my all time favorite quote. To me its raw, its to the point, and its real!<br />
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We are all so quick to label someone as crazy when a lot of us aren't to sane ourselves! We are ignorant in our thinking, ignorant to life in another persons shoes, ignorant to life in another persons mind. <br />
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When the number of people walking around with some kind of anti-(something) drug, legal or illegal, flowing through their veins have tripled in the past 40 years, it's time for us to admit that there is a problem somewhere.<br />
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Turn on the television at any given time, on any number of channels and what do you see. Some [scripted] 'reality' show with a group of dysfunctional people, (most of them old enough to know better) acting like asses and not only are they getting applauded for it, they are getting PAID for it! The world thrives on craziness.<br />
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We live in a society that is addicted to gossip, relishes on degrading who ever they can in life then talk about their 'greatness' in death, then throws in a 'Dr. Drew' to explain to us why we are all so crazy!<br />
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With most of us trying to scrape the bottom of the same barrel, we are expected to have sympathy for athletes throwing temper tantrums, which seem to occur every couple of years, over salaries that could feed most small countries.<br />
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The irony that to improve the economy people need to spend more money that people really don't have in the first place seems outrageous to me.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://encrypted-tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQR5GIWBfx4ycgdLL5G4o0fAYiXU2sMIi-Lv8x_m0YH4avWoDfh" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://encrypted-tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQR5GIWBfx4ycgdLL5G4o0fAYiXU2sMIi-Lv8x_m0YH4avWoDfh" /></a></div>The idea that building prisons in towns on the verge of bankruptcy anticipating that revenue from housing what they hope to be the 'future criminals of america' (whose imprisonment will often times be the result of laws created solely with the intent of ensuring that every cell remains full of these 'expected' criminals) is asinine.<br />
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The world is a crazy, hypocritical, glass house of horrors. <br />
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I, too, am believing more and more each day that its not bi-polar people trying to live their lives inside a world , but sane people just trying to function in a bi-polar world!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/314/74147BDD6A0CAF05485C131D1909AF79.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1300057309468677000.post-40800970641543716632011-11-04T12:59:00.000-06:002011-11-04T12:59:30.432-06:00...And The Light Bulb Came On!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ekeB-UlaL8w/TrQZx1rch-I/AAAAAAAAAVY/U-oj2l8zKPY/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ekeB-UlaL8w/TrQZx1rch-I/AAAAAAAAAVY/U-oj2l8zKPY/s1600/1.jpg" /></a></div>I am a thinker, an analyzer by nature. Or maybe its a habit. Whatever the reason, Its how I am. In fact its also what I do. I analyze for a living. I don't often get the opportunity to toot my own horn but, I'm good at it. I'm good at my job. I uncover potential problems, analyze the data, identify to root causes, and implement remediation's.<br />
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However, my biggest strength is also my biggest weakness. I have a tendency to analyze beyond the scope of the issue. Over analyze. Hell, I just plain think too much. Not just in my professional life but my personal life as well. <br />
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The truth of the matter is if my mind is not occupied, I get bored. If I get bored, I get depressed.<br />
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But, this morning, while I was enjoying my morning cup of Soy Vanilla Chai Tea Latte, this question popped into my head: 'Why am I doing this?'. Not 'Why am <strong><u>I</u></strong> doing this?', but '<strong><u>Why</u></strong> am I doing this?'.<br />
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This obvious and pretty elementary question actually made a huge impact on me today. It is a question that I should be able to ask myself in every aspect of my life. It is a very <strong><em>'grounded'</em></strong> question. It provides me with a way of assessing my boundaries. A way for me to <strong><em>stick to the issue at hand</em></strong>. If I ask myself <strong>'Why am I doing this?'</strong> in relation to any task in any situation of my life, I can easier identify if I am analyzing or addressing something outside the scope of the problem or issue. I can focus on the immediate issue rather than issues that haven't even arisen yet, or may never arise. I can focus on issues within my control.<br />
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<strong><em>THIS IS HUGE FOR ME!</em></strong> For someone who often doesn't know how to <strong><em>'pull back'</em></strong> and tends to analyze things outside of the problem area, this question will allow me a way to better focus my energy so that I can drive the results that I need in order to obtain the outcome I want more effectively and often times faster.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yr_A1H3HROM/TrQZ6DZTeRI/AAAAAAAAAVg/C-e2pnbeDfI/s1600/3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yr_A1H3HROM/TrQZ6DZTeRI/AAAAAAAAAVg/C-e2pnbeDfI/s1600/3.jpg" /></a></div>Thank God for 'Ah Ha!' moments like these! The littlest of things can often times create the biggest impacts...epiphany's that are life changing!<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/314/74147BDD6A0CAF05485C131D1909AF79.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1300057309468677000.post-52666498700698539532011-10-26T14:50:00.001-06:002011-10-26T14:53:11.265-06:00Dark Clouds Keep Hiding My Silver Linings<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xv3vL9c48Xo/Tqhx-YumltI/AAAAAAAAAUs/shQihVTkBkg/s1600/imagesCA030E0Z.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xv3vL9c48Xo/Tqhx-YumltI/AAAAAAAAAUs/shQihVTkBkg/s1600/imagesCA030E0Z.jpg" /></a></div>I try to wake up every morning hoping today will be different than yesterday. Just as I woke up yesterday hoping it would be different than the day before that. However it seems like there day clouds keep hiding the silver linings. Today seems to be the same as the days that preceded and the days to come will be the same as today. <br />
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The same conversations, the same horrible issues, the same empty promises, the same attitudes, trying to read between the same lines. Nothing ever changes. <br />
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So, I realize that if i want my silver lining, I have to go to find it. Its definitely not going to come to me. <br />
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I can not concern myself with the needs of others when the needs of others always seem to supersede the needs of myself. I will not concern myself to the happiness of others when others are not concerned with the happiness I am in search of.<br />
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I will never disregard the needs of those around me, but I am going to stop putting myself on the back burner. If my good intentions are never enough, if my efforts are never enough, If my actions never enough, If I am never enough for those around me...so be it! They were never going be enough anyway.<br />
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I have always had to live my life with the expectation that I had to do for somebody else, be there for somebody else, always make sure somebody else is happy. Always trying to fulfill the expectations of the very people who claim to have none. I'm always trying to give somebody else their silver lining and never being provided the opportunity to have mine.<br />
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I need to make sure I am okay. I need to figure out how I feel about myself rather that believe in the opinions of others.<br />
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Everyone has opinions and judgements of everyone else. Often times those opinions and judgements are built around how much you are willing to benefit them. If you give them what they want, your the angel they can not live without and the moment you don't, you then become the vein of their existence.<br />
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I spend much of my days trying not to become the vein of someones existing. The result is me walking on somebody else's eggshells. <br />
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My silver lining is stuck somewhere deep inside of me. I just need to find it. I need to find my own happiness. For once!<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/314/74147BDD6A0CAF05485C131D1909AF79.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1300057309468677000.post-81731403777799199392011-10-09T12:29:00.000-06:002011-11-06T18:02:09.134-07:00Be The Author Of Your OWN Story<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQfpLFuYQpcixNeGIA0xKAPhn4-HOWzQJQxaIdqa9q0w0Bsnc-k" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="57px" kca="true" src="http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQfpLFuYQpcixNeGIA0xKAPhn4-HOWzQJQxaIdqa9q0w0Bsnc-k" width="320px" /></a></div>Too many times we allow other people to write our story. We try to live the way others think we should live, do what others want us to do, think the way others feel we should think, and act the way others expect us to act. We allow others to dictate the day's of our lives.<br />
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I am no exception. I admit to doing, acting, saying, etc. what other people want. If I really ask myself why, the most honest answer I can give is that it's easier that way. There is less drama, less conflict, and everybody is happy... Except me. <br />
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As 'Independent' as I think I am or as 'Strong' as I try to be, I often times feel I'm walking through life on 'egg shells'. Trying to make sure everybody is happy, trying to figure out what I did wrong if they're not, and hoping I can understand what I am supposed to do next.<br />
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I started to realize that I was not writing my own story. I have allowed other people who, more likely than not, don't give a damn about me, determine my paths.<br />
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My control over my destiny was gone. I don't know when I lost it. I don't know who I allowed to take it. Or if I ever had it in the first place.<br />
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But, whatever the reason 'Control' left me in the first place, I am determined to get it back. I am determined to regain control. I can't be the who others want me to be. I can only be ME.<br />
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I may not be able to rewrite the pages of my life that have already been written, but I will definitely be the writer of the pages to come.<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/314/74147BDD6A0CAF05485C131D1909AF79.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a></div>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1300057309468677000.post-73735898266764709952011-10-07T12:02:00.002-06:002011-10-07T12:08:21.344-06:00Life Without The Rose Colored Glasses!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Db_UYxO1FjM/To3FHqhyAeI/AAAAAAAAATc/9nO5X6CqVpc/s1600/images-tile.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320px" kca="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Db_UYxO1FjM/To3FHqhyAeI/AAAAAAAAATc/9nO5X6CqVpc/s320/images-tile.jpg" width="208px" /></a></div><div align="left" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><strong>Part 2 - Life Without The Rose Colored Glasses! The Meaning Behind 'GingerSnaps And VODKA'</strong><br />
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<em><span style="font-size: x-small;">(Read <strong><strong><a href="http://itmaynotbeprettybutitsmine.blogspot.com/2011/10/real-people-dont-hide-behind-masks.html">Part 1 - Real People Don't Hide Behind Masks! The Meaning Behind 'It May Not Be Pretty But It's Mine!'</a></strong>)</strong></span></em><br />
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<em><span style="font-size: x-small;">(Go to <strong><a href="http://letstalkelephants.blogspot.com/2011/10/truth-shall-set-you-free.html">Part 3 - The TRUTH Shall Set You Free! The Meaning Behind 'Does Anyone Else See The Big Ass Elephant In The Room?'</a>)</strong></span></em></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
Just as the blog <a href="http://itmaynotbeprettybutitsmine.blogspot.com/">'It May Not Be Pretty But It's Mine!'</a> is a front row seat into my soul,<a href="http://gingersnapsvodka.blogspot.com/"> <u>'GingerSNAPS and VODKA'</u></a> is the magnifying glass into 'Life's' core. <br />
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Life is not 'Peaches and Cream'. There are challenges to overcome and battles to be won..and lost.<br />
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Often times life's ups and downs can occur within the same day.<br />
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So why the title 'GingerSNAPS and VODKA'? The cookie that is the most accurate representation of me (and also my favorite) is a Gingersnap. It is subtly sweet coupled with a spicy undertone, with an 'in your face' bite to it. You either like Gingersnaps or you don't!<br />
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I have been known to call a 'good day' a 'Gingersnap' day. On the other hand, I have also been known to call the nights that I wish would end but never do, 'Vodka' nights. <br />
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It is important for me to state that none of my blogs are particular to any one ethnicity, gender, or lifestyle. My ethnicity, being primarily African American, I may tend to speak <strong><em>as a black woman</em></strong> and relate more with the black community, however, American Indian, Dutch, French, and a number of other ethnic variations and nationalities also flow through my veins.<br />
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So, even though the contents of our day's and the matters of our night's may very based on who and what we are, the experience of life is unbiased. We all experience 'Gingersnap' days that can quickly turn into 'Vodka' nights. This blog is intended to share those experiences. <strong><em>EVERYBODY'S</em></strong> experiences...Not solely my own. We are all in this together and we can all learn from one another.<br />
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Go to <strong><a href="http://letstalkelephants.blogspot.com/2011/10/truth-shall-set-you-free.html">Part 3 - The TRUTH Shall Set You Free! The Meaning Behind 'Does Anyone Else See The Big Ass Elephant In The Room?'</a></strong><br />
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Read <strong><strong><a href="http://itmaynotbeprettybutitsmine.blogspot.com/2011/10/real-people-dont-hide-behind-masks.html">Part 1 - Real People Don't Hide Behind Masks! The Meaning Behind 'It May Not Be Pretty But It's Mine!'</a></strong></strong></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/282/CC3E33689FB3288DDB30BF329E6552A9.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a></div>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1300057309468677000.post-33860893048864271532011-10-05T18:21:00.000-06:002011-10-05T18:21:34.988-06:00Beautiful Depression<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fjt40TlqCzA/Tot9TCxlH2I/AAAAAAAAATU/FU-BIqZ0ETg/s1600/imagesCA0U4HD6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="111px" kca="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fjt40TlqCzA/Tot9TCxlH2I/AAAAAAAAATU/FU-BIqZ0ETg/s200/imagesCA0U4HD6.jpg" width="200px" /></a></div>The 'Silent Stalker', the 'Noonday Demon', the 'Black Cloud', what ever you want to call it...<strong>'IT</strong>' can paralyze your world and bring your soul to it's knees.<br />
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You can feel fine one moment, and falling into a dark abyss the next. <br />
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One minute your living in a world of bliss, and the next your dying in a realm of misery.<br />
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'<strong>IT</strong>' appears out of nowhere, latches onto every part of your being, and consumes your mind, body, and spirit. You don't see color anymore rather only shades of grey.<br />
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If '<strong>IT</strong>' is as immersed in <u><em>your</em></u> life as '<strong>IT</strong>' is in mine, you aren't able to hide from '<strong>IT</strong>', '<strong>IT</strong>' finds you no matter where you are.<br />
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If '<strong>IT</strong>' is as transfixed with <em><u>you</u></em> as <strong>'IT</strong>' seems to be with me, <strong>'IT</strong>' will segregate you from any and everyone you ever even thought you cared about.<br />
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You are fooled into believing that '<strong>IT</strong>'s' existence has died, only to witness '<strong>IT</strong>'s' resurrection just as the wounds once last left behind begin to heal.<br />
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'<strong>IT</strong>' becomes so much a part of you that some, like me, have tried to cut '<strong>IT</strong>' out with a blade. Slicing over and over and over again brainwashed into thinking that harming yourself will cripple the nemisis. In the end each cut of the knife only makes '<strong>IT</strong>' stronger.<br />
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'<strong>IT</strong>' can become so much a part of you, that '<strong>IT</strong>' can transmit to your children, and your children's children.<br />
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You don't know how to explain '<strong>IT</strong>' so you don't tell anyone about '<strong>IT</strong>'. You don't know how you got '<strong>IT</strong>' so you don't know how to get rid of '<strong>IT</strong>'.<br />
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<a href="http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSWR4oknmWSv9TV8TgDOQplXji8AKLOkUlfgOua8idKMz7S3So9DA" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" kca="true" src="http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSWR4oknmWSv9TV8TgDOQplXji8AKLOkUlfgOua8idKMz7S3So9DA" /></a>So instead you embrace '<strong>IT</strong>'. Accepting the ever increasing grip '<strong>IT</strong>' has on you. Day after Day. Month after Month. Year after Year. Treasuring the moments '<strong>IT</strong>' loosens it's grasp, making the most of the times '<strong>IT</strong>' allows you to breathe.<br />
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<strong><em>You don't have to understand depression for your life to be effected by it. Depression is an unseen enemy that could be walking hand in hand with someone you know. </em></strong><br />
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<strong><em>Depression may be the intruder that has taken over your own life!</em></strong><br />
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<em><u>(This is a post I felt necesarry to post on all of my Blogs)</u></em><br />
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The following websites provide valuable resources, support and materials for a variety of mental illnesses.<br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"></div><a href="http://www.dbsalliance.org/"><span style="color: #4b9f3b;">Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance – DBSA</span></a><br />
Support, educational materials, brochures, resources for family members, and much more.<br />
<a href="http://www.walkers.org/"><span style="color: #4b9f3b;">Walkers In Darkness</span></a><br />
Provides information and support for anyone dealing with mental illness.<br />
<a href="http://www.counselor.org/"><span style="color: #4b9f3b;">Counselor</span></a><br />
Largest informational database containing information on mental health news and resources.<br />
<a href="http://www.nami.org/"><span style="color: #4b9f3b;">National Alliance on Mental Illness – NAMI</span></a><br />
Grassroots organization dedicated to improving the lives of persons living with serious mental illness.<br />
<a href="http://www.nimh.nih.gov/"><span style="color: #4b9f3b;">National Institute of Mental Health – NIMH</span></a><br />
Largest scientific organization in the world dedicated to research focused on the understanding, treatment, and prevention of mental disorders and the promotion of mental health. Free brochures and more.<br />
<a href="http://www.mhselfhelp.org/"><span style="color: #4b9f3b;">National Mental Health Consumers’ Self-Help Clearinghouse</span></a><br />
Offers news and alerts, training curricula, resources, publications, technical assistance and a consumer driver services directory<br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/282/CC3E33689FB3288DDB30BF329E6552A9.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a></div>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1300057309468677000.post-86829792067177126912011-09-25T19:54:00.000-06:002011-09-25T19:54:20.824-06:00Flight Of The Dragonfly<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bTJ8h7JB-Hs/Tn_aU6vO4LI/AAAAAAAAATQ/fkwv2DpaSxw/s1600/work_4161604_1_flat%252C135x135%252C075%252Ct.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bTJ8h7JB-Hs/Tn_aU6vO4LI/AAAAAAAAATQ/fkwv2DpaSxw/s200/work_4161604_1_flat%252C135x135%252C075%252Ct.jpg" width="175" /></a>The other day I found myself spell bound at the sight of a dragonfly. Not that it was unusually beautiful, or even that big for that matter, but on that day, at that moment, this dragonfly seemed to give me something I have not had in a very long time, if ever......Joy!</div><br />
I often go through a phase where I don't understand the meaning of life, I don't understand the purpose of why I constantly am going through all the crap that I go through. They say 'What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger'. Stronger for WHAT??!!<br />
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Anyhow, on that day, a day among many where I'm trying to stand 'strong' in the midst of absolute chaos that seems to never end, I noticed a dragonfly. And, in that moment, I wandered what it would be like to live as a dragonfly.<br />
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What would it be like to live a life without stress, without pain, without suffering, without hurt. Just being able to feel the wind beneath my wings, being able to recognize the beauty that surrounds me instead of always having to worry about the ugly that hides in waiting. <br />
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To have peace! To have purpose! To be FREE!<br />
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I know I will never live as the dragonfly does, and I will probably never understand the meaning of life, but at least I found joy, if only for a second, and if only in a daydream!<br />
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<h2>Symbolisms of the Dragonfly</h2><br />
<ul type="circle"><li><strong>Maturity and a Depth of character</strong><br />
The dragonfly, in almost every part of the world symbolizes change and change in the perspective of self realization; and the kind of change that has its source in mental and emotional maturity and the understanding of the deeper meaning of life. <br />
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The traditional association of Dragonflies with water also gives rise to this meaning to this amazing insect. The Dragonfly’s scurrying flight across water represents an act of going beyond what’s on the surface and looking into the deeper implications and aspects of life. </li>
</ul><br />
<ul type="circle"><li><strong>Power and Poise</strong><br />
The dragonfly’s agile flight and its ability to move in all six directions exude a sense of power and poise - something that comes only with age and maturity. <br />
The dragonfly can move at an amazing 45 miles an hour, hover like a helicopter fly backwards like a hummingbird, fly straight up, down and on either side. What is mind blowing is the fact that it can do this while flapping its wings a mere 30 times a minute while mosquitoes and houseflies need to flap their wings 600 and 1000 times a minute respectively. <br />
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The awe inspiring aspect is how the dragonfly accomplishes its objectives with utmost simplicity, effectiveness and well, if you look at proportions, with 20 times as much power in each of its wing strokes when compared to the other insects. The best part is that the dragonfly does it with elegance and grace that can be compared to a veteran ballet dancer. If this is not a brazen, lazy, overkill in terms of display of raw power, what is? </li>
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<ul type="circle"><li><strong>Defeat of Self Created Illusions</strong><br />
The dragonfly exhibits iridescence both on its wings as well as on its body. Iridescence is the property of an object to show itself in different colors depending on the angle and polarization of light falling on it. <br />
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This property is seen and believed as the end of one’s self created illusions and a clear vision into the realities of life. The magical property of iridescence is also associated with the discovery of one’s own abilities by unmasking the real self and removing the doubts one casts on his/her own sense of identity. This again indirectly means self discovery and removal of inhibitions. </li>
</ul><br />
<ul type="circle"><li><strong>Focus on living ‘IN’ the moment</strong><br />
The dragonfly normally lives most of its life as a nymph or an immature. It flies only for a fraction of its life and usually not more than a few months. This adult dragonfly does it all in these few months and leaves nothing to be desired. This style of life symbolizes and exemplifies the virtue of living IN the moment and living life to the fullest. By living in the moment you are aware of who you are, where you are, what you are doing, what you want, what you don’t and make informed choices on a moment-to-moment basis. <br />
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This ability lets you live your life without regrets like the great dragonfly. </li>
</ul><br />
<ul type="circle"><li><strong>The opening of one’s eyes</strong><br />
The eyes of the dragonfly are one of the most amazing and awe inspiring sights. Given almost 80% of the insect’s brain power is dedicated to its sight and the fact that it can see in all 360 degrees around it, it symbolizes the uninhibited vision of the mind and the ability to see beyond the limitations of the human self. It also in a manner of speaking symbolizes a man/woman’s rising from materialism to be able to see beyond the mundane into the vastness that is really our Universe, and our own minds. </li>
</ul><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/282/CC3E33689FB3288DDB30BF329E6552A9.png" style="border: 0px currentColor !important;" /></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1300057309468677000.post-17032260806982796662011-09-24T13:34:00.000-06:002011-09-24T13:34:01.931-06:00FEATURE BLOG OF THE WEEK! -- Life On Purpose<span style="color: black; font-family: tinos; font-size: large; font-weight: normal;"><marquee bgcolor="#ffffff" scrollamount="3">FEATURE BLOG OF THE WEEK! FEATURE BLOG OF THE WEEK!</marquee></span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.andrewpmoore.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/growing_plant.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" hca="true" height="200px" src="http://www.andrewpmoore.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/growing_plant.jpg" width="177px" /></a></div><strong><span style="font-size: large;">Life On Purpose</span></strong><br />
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Life, much like the seeds of a plant, starts with a simple purpose: to flourish. As babies, there is an unresisted oneness with that purpose, but as we grow older our mind takes over and we lose faith in the path on which we travel, and often lose sight of our natural destiny.<br />
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Lessons from a plant: seeds are planted, and then without question, the germination process begins. A root base forms, and soon sprouts and grows towards the nourishing sun evolving into a beautiful plant with leaves, and, eventually, flowers.<br />
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Once one flower or leaf dies, the plant is not discouraged, or at a loss for a sense of self, it simply waits until it blossoms again. Even in the harshest of winters where death seems immanent, it retracts back to it’s roots until it can grow again—if again—with ease and undoubting trust in its purpose.<br />
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<strong>Seed:</strong> just for today, listen to your intuition and work towards achieving what you never thought you could. Be one with the process and you will be one with life.<br />
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How many dead flowers are you holding on to? Honor yourself and let them go, so you can flower again.<br />
<div sizcache="0" sizset="92" style="text-align: right;"><em sizcache="0" sizset="92">This post originally appeared on <a href="http://plantingwisdom.org/" target="_blank"><span style="color: #3ca097;">PlantingWisdom.org</span></a></em></div><br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/282/CC3E33689FB3288DDB30BF329E6552A9.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1300057309468677000.post-6123931360140292042011-09-15T17:18:00.001-06:002011-09-15T20:58:07.127-06:00VALERIE - WELL Defined!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://explodemytraffic.com/images/100-certified.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" rba="true" src="http://explodemytraffic.com/images/100-certified.jpg" /></a></div>
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<strong>The <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/names.php">Urban Dictionary's</a> Definition of the Name 'Valerie'</strong></div>
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While spending time looking through the Urban Dictionary, I came across the definition of my name:<br />
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<em>Valerie is a VERY sexy women who is also very intelligent. She has beautiful eyes and is sometimes considered to be a savage, but those people know as well as everyone else, that she is truly one of a kind. Don't do anything bad to Valerie, because she WILL come back out on top </em><br />
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If this does not describe me to a tee, NOTHING WILL.<br />
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Now, how can I get the Webster's Dictionary to take notice!!<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/282/CC3E33689FB3288DDB30BF329E6552A9.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1300057309468677000.post-60610471209453404032011-09-09T17:41:00.001-06:002011-09-15T16:48:42.430-06:00FEATURE BLOG OF THE WEEK! - Marriage Ain't for Wimps!: Marriage Ain't for Wimps Series: It Ain't Over 'ti...<span style="color: black; font-family: tinos; font-size: large; font-weight: normal;"><marquee bgcolor="#ffffff" scrollamount="3">FEATURE BLOG OF THE WEEK! FEATURE BLOG OF THE WEEK!</marquee></span><br />
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<a href="http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT3fukVpQOzOPLT20BQ3JUkucbAxVHxmypSR1gTJq-aaCiPUJ5gkQ" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="122px" nba="true" src="http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT3fukVpQOzOPLT20BQ3JUkucbAxVHxmypSR1gTJq-aaCiPUJ5gkQ" width="400px" /></a><a href="http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT3fukVpQOzOPLT20BQ3JUkucbAxVHxmypSR1gTJq-aaCiPUJ5gkQ" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="http://marriageaintforwimps-tangie.blogspot.com/2010/11/marriage-aint-for-wimps-series-it-aint.html?spref=bl">Marriage Ain't for Wimps!: Marriage Ain't for Wimps Series: It Ain't Over 'ti...</a>: So you two have been together for a little while and it seems you just can’t get your groove. He says up, you say down. She says right, you say left. What happened to the “happily ever after” that the movies illustrate so</div>
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beautifully? You might say, “If this is happy, no thank you! I can do bad all by myself!!” Sceerrrr….Hold up, wait a minute! Don’t file those divorce papers, yet! There’s more work to do.</div>
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There’s a very convenient phrase listed as a reason for divorce and it’s called “Irreconcilable Differences.” How quaint. How convenient. You can slip just about anything in that category: “She can’t cook.” “He snores.” “I can’t stand his mama!” As small as this may seem to some, these issues can be a huge source of debate and contention for others. And after a time of wrangling over them, people get tired and just want out. Not so fast, Tonto. There’s more work to do!<br />
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<b>Communicate. Compromise. Care.</b></div>
<u><i><b>Communicate</b></i></u><br />
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This is a point that can’t be emphasized enough. Communication is a skill that should be honed while you’re dating so that when you’re married, it won’t be a foreign concept. Communication is a two-way street. There’s the speaking element, but more importantly, is the listening element. Be mindful to communicate your concerns clearly, but be equally mindful to listen to the concerns of your spouse. Quite honestly, they may not be the best communicator, but knowing what they’re saying even when they’re not saying it, is a skill that is worth acquiring. Every disagreement doesn’t have to be a battle. Some things are best left unsaid…and some things are NOT. Know the difference.</div>
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<i><u><b>Compromise</b></u></i><br />
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Oftentimes we don’t compromise in a relationship because we see it as defeat. Change your thinking. What you want is a positive outcome. What does it matter who seemingly got what they want? The beauty is understanding that you both win because when one person is satisfied, the other person should be satisfied. A win for one is a win for the team.</div>
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<i><u><b>Care</b></u></i><br />
<i><u><b><br /></b></u></i><br />
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Care enough about yourself, your mate and your marriage to do whatever it takes to make it work. Know that marriages don’t self-maintain no more than a car self-maintains. Sooner or later you have to put gas in the car and change the oil, at a minimum. So it is with your marriage. You have to do the little things everyday to keep your marriage flowing. There will be many ebbs and flows in the relationship, but that just creates opportunities to regroup and refocus…on each other.</div>
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I know there are instances where you feel that the union is irreparably broken. And that definition is different for everybody. What I may be able to manage in my marriage may be a deal-breaker for you. But what I hope to do is stop the genocide of our marriages just because we haven’t learned how to dwell with one another “according to knowledge.” Know that your marriage is worth every tear, disappointment, victory and triumph you will experience. It is the greatest representation of God’s love for His people. He loves marriage. He’s ordained it and sanctioned it. And He blesses it. That doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy, but it will certainly be worth it. So, be encouraged. Don’t give up the fight. Understand that Marriage Ain’t for Wimps and it ain’t over ‘til it’s over!</div>
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To Marriage with Love,Tangie</div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/282/CC3E33689FB3288DDB30BF329E6552A9.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1300057309468677000.post-91986889250057660802011-09-05T13:20:00.000-06:002011-09-09T17:25:57.008-06:00A Godly Wife On Purpose: Marriage Is A Journey<a href="http://awifeonpurpose.blogspot.com/2010/05/marriage-is-journey.html?spref=bl">A Godly Wife On Purpose: Marriage Is A Journey</a>: Marriage is a journey. What have you packed for the trip? When I plan for a trip. I pack more than enough stuff "just in case" I need it....<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/282/CC3E33689FB3288DDB30BF329E6552A9.png" style="background: none transparent scroll repeat 0% 0%; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-top: 0px;" /></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1300057309468677000.post-59234495914615450152011-09-04T13:40:00.001-06:002011-09-06T16:38:26.761-06:00To the Soul of My Soul<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ9T2YeTBj2mpAWEBOh1JsMDsXkeA7aFLO2bwGqjuFM23SElrrd" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ9T2YeTBj2mpAWEBOh1JsMDsXkeA7aFLO2bwGqjuFM23SElrrd" /></a></div><span style="font-size: x-small;">Part of the </span><a href="http://gingersnapsvodka.blogspot.com/p/letters-to-my-husband.html"><span style="font-size: x-small;">'Letters to My Husband'</span></a><span style="font-size: x-small;"> series</span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Love can be a difficult journey, but a journey worth taking with no other than you.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">All things may not come together as planned, but when it does come together it gives me one more reason to look forward to tomorrow. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">To be loved by you is to experience a dream igniting in me the meaning of life, <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">My life with you makes all things new </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">and to love with you makes all things divine</span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">.</span></span></span><br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/282/CC3E33689FB3288DDB30BF329E6552A9.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1300057309468677000.post-27349252335625359112011-09-04T12:30:00.001-06:002011-09-06T16:59:33.950-06:00Why Women Cry . . . .<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZB4LX_E3WiQ/TmPDx7ZblXI/AAAAAAAAAQs/Lh5A557xT8I/s1600/j.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZB4LX_E3WiQ/TmPDx7ZblXI/AAAAAAAAAQs/Lh5A557xT8I/s1600/j.jpg" /></a></div><a href="http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/why-women-cry-2539353/">Why Women Cry...</a>is courtesy of: MANAGE YOUR LIFE on SHINE<br />
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<em><strong><span style="font-size: x-small;">This is another gratuitous "copy & paste" job, from an e-mail sent by my mother-in-law (who is a great lady, BTW). Again, it was too good NOT to pass on. For those of you who may be despairing "Will she EVER write something of her own?" just know that I've got one in the works that still needs some work. Soon .<br />
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Hope you all have a gorgeous holiday weekend!<br />
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Peachy</span></strong></em><br />
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WHY WOMEN CRY.............. A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him.<br />
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"I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."<br />
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Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?""All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.<br />
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The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.<br />
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Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"<br />
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God said,<br />
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"When I made the woman she had to be special.<br />
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I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world,<br />
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Yet gentle enough to give comfort.<br />
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I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.<br />
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I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue.<br />
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I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.<br />
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I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.<br />
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I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfaltering.<br />
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And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."<br />
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"You see," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.<br />
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The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides." NEXT TIME YOU SEE A WOMAN CRY~~~~REMEMBER THIS!<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/282/CC3E33689FB3288DDB30BF329E6552A9.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1300057309468677000.post-32181526180733813372011-08-30T12:45:00.003-06:002011-09-06T16:38:40.396-06:00Me; Myself; and WHY!A statement was made to me a few days ago in response to my problem (that I have stated quite often) of <strong>'shutting</strong> <strong>down'</strong> <span style="color: blue;"><em>"...</em><span data-jsid="text"><em>You have to get at the heart of WHY do you shut down."</em><span style="color: black;"> </span></span></span><br />
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I probably thought about that statement 50 times since it was posed to me just a few days ago. Which in itself is somewhat funny, because it is not the first time I have heard that very same statement.<br />
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My problem is, however, that I don't know the <strong><em>'WHY'</em></strong>. I remember, in detail, people, places, events (little good, mostly bad) etc. from childhood. BUT, I have no <em>'emotional'</em> memories. Except one (which I didn't really remember until about 4 years ago). <br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dYJ4FGsZ5oE/Tl0vqIc7sBI/AAAAAAAAAPA/JPb2PNDeUIU/s1600/e.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dYJ4FGsZ5oE/Tl0vqIc7sBI/AAAAAAAAAPA/JPb2PNDeUIU/s1600/e.jpg" /></a>The only <em>'emotion'</em> that I can equate to my childhood was Guilt. I don't know why, and it wasn't related to any malicious act that <strong><em>I</em></strong> was involved in guilt that, honestly, wasn't even <strong><em>MY</em></strong> guilt! But I remember that the <em>'emotion'</em> was a major factor that played the biggest role when it came to my <em>'detachment'</em> was Guilt. Not the minimal guilt that may last for a short time, but gut wrenching, heart breaking guilt, Guilt that made me physically ill. Guilt that overtook much of me. <br />
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So my question? How do you correct what you don't understand?<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/282/CC3E33689FB3288DDB30BF329E6552A9.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1300057309468677000.post-52523661807873392902011-08-26T10:11:00.002-06:002011-09-06T16:38:49.511-06:00Why Don't You Ever Talk To Me?Usually, in many relationships of people I know, women are constantly asking their husbands or partners <strong><em>'Why don't you ever talk to me?'</em></strong>. Well, in my marriage, that question is usually asked OF ME. <br />
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Admittedly, I don't communicate, I don't know how. At least not the communication my husband wants. I really don't feel comfortable talking emotionally, and I am very private. Unfortunately, I am private even when it comes to my husband.<br />
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Well today is my turning point. After an argument which reached an all time high yesterday, I realized that my lack of communication is really an issue. I honestly, never assumed that it would be an issue because, after all, how many women have a partner who WANTS to 'talk'. <br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zh7BznxZtRw/TlfBsvmdDMI/AAAAAAAAAK0/iEqy4XaB3RY/s1600/l_6bba08bbd22949e9a0d9a8163bebda84+%25282%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="166" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zh7BznxZtRw/TlfBsvmdDMI/AAAAAAAAAK0/iEqy4XaB3RY/s200/l_6bba08bbd22949e9a0d9a8163bebda84+%25282%2529.jpg" width="200" /></a>So, I'm really starting from square one with this. In an effort to do as I promised myself with my new 'blogging' venture... my journey to learn how to communicate with my husband will be a shared journey. <br />
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Feedback is not only wanted, its needed! Advice is not only suggested, its needed! <br />
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Follow my journey in <a href="http://gingersnapsvodka.blogspot.com/p/road-to-redemption.html">Road to Redemption</a>. <br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/282/CC3E33689FB3288DDB30BF329E6552A9.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1300057309468677000.post-25353168900561194172011-08-22T18:16:00.000-06:002011-09-06T16:39:01.130-06:00My TRUE Role Revealed!I read a very short but very powerful Zen Proverb today: <em><span style="color: red;"><strong>'When the pupil is ready to learn, a teacher will appear'</strong></span></em>.<br />
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It got me to thinking. We all including me, often times think we know it all. And because of this thinking we often never see the teacher standing before us. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZSCIteOXoLk/TlLw4zJR7jI/AAAAAAAAAJc/M-r7PO9CUSQ/s1600/16.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZSCIteOXoLk/TlLw4zJR7jI/AAAAAAAAAJc/M-r7PO9CUSQ/s1600/16.jpg" /></a></div>We are all Life's students. If we embrace that role we just might learn something. As a result, maybe we will stop repeating the same mistakes over and over and over.....<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/282/CC3E33689FB3288DDB30BF329E6552A9.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a><br />
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Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1300057309468677000.post-43341906743113545732011-08-20T13:36:00.003-06:002011-09-06T16:39:18.720-06:00Where is the OPERATING MANUAL!!<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em> </em>I know. I am not new to this whole marriage thing. I am a repeat customer. But I'm also not new to the whole divorce thing either. So in an effort to sustain my current marriage.. I’m learning to SHUT THE FUCK UP!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, I admit that I have a bit of a biting tongue, and, I guess, things I say can often seem a bit on the 'flip' side. But I speak my mind. Well, in an effort to pick my battles more wisely (and for my sanity) I keep my mouth shut on a lot of issues.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But, it can’t be both ways. I can't be asked my opinion or asked a question then the conversation go from 0-100 because you really aren’t ready for the answer I gave. <o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> My mind is like a breaker box. When there is too much stress on the breaker, it trips. When there is too much stress being put on me, the breaker in my mind trips. And I shut down. It’s not something that I can control, there is no warning, I just shut down. Not physically but emotionally, I feel absolutely NOTHING. I'm not happy, I'm not sad.. I feel nothing. I'm just functioning. I have absolutely nothing to say and even when I try to thinks of things to say...NOTHING!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well, today is one of those days. One of those days when I have to say to myself over and over 'I LOVE MY HUSBAND, I LOVE MY HUSBAND'.<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> But it's not easy!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If there is an Operating Manual ...I need it! Because there are some parts of marriage.. I DONT UNDERSTAND!<o:p></o:p></span></div><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> When did it become my responsibility to make sure my husbanc is not bored!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> When did it become my responsibility to understand the 'no communication' form of communicating?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE MY HUSBAND! And there is no doubt in my mind that he loves me. He has a lot of wonderful qualities, unfortunately right now I can’t think of what they are... but I know he has them. And I know that he is not used to dealing with someone like me. Again, this is not easy. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p> </o:p>MAN! Where is the fuckin bottle of VODKA, I need a stiff drink. 10hrs and 42min to go before this day is OVER! God help me!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em> </em></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IwzQEixELFg/TlALH3CQ63I/AAAAAAAAAFA/QPfV-VqSb5A/s1600/imagesCAFA2VQM.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IwzQEixELFg/TlALH3CQ63I/AAAAAAAAAFA/QPfV-VqSb5A/s1600/imagesCAFA2VQM.jpg" /></em></span></a></div><br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/282/CC3E33689FB3288DDB30BF329E6552A9.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a><br />
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Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1300057309468677000.post-67079830592367186222011-08-18T11:31:00.002-06:002011-09-06T16:39:34.807-06:00Allow me to introduce myself...My name is Valerie Whitlock - Jenkins - Wheeler - Moore<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qciCYdV3GVY/Tk706zwv0jI/AAAAAAAAAE0/2qCuf3tCvfI/s1600/Picture+10.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qciCYdV3GVY/Tk706zwv0jI/AAAAAAAAAE0/2qCuf3tCvfI/s200/Picture+10.bmp" width="146" /></a></div>I'm sure you can tell by the number of last names that I have been married a few times. 3 to be exact. (I'm currently on my third). Now, I know the judgemental people are probably wondering what is wrong with me? <br />
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I'm 30 something, with 7 kids (4 acquired through marriage). I have 2 birth children and one adult child, my oldest is technically an adult with a lot of growing up still to do. <br />
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I have lived in 5 different states (moved back to the same state twice) and now back to the same state that I ran from to begin with. <br />
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Call it running from drama, commitment, childhood issues, or whatever, one thing even a blind man can see.....I'M A RUNNER!<br />
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Surprisingly enough though, I'm actually a very strong, independent, RESPONSIBLE woman with an extreme work ethic. The key word here is...EXTREME! My strengths are also my weaknesses. I take independence to a whole new level. I refuse to ask anyone for help, allow anyone to ever think I need help, don't trust anyone to 'do it right' (because lets face it, if I don't do it...IT'S NOT RIGHT), and I always Always ALWAYS have a 'plan B'.<br />
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Since I refuse to let anyone EVER see my weaknesses, I live my life emotionally detached, extremely guarded, and disconnected from all friends and especially family. <br />
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So how did I land ANOTHER HUSBAND? I am actually the best person to ever have on your side. I painfully empathize with any one's struggles, Got your back almost to a fault, not a cheater, can't stand lying, put my family's need before my own, and try as hard as i possibly can prevent my children, my husband, or anyone I can to ever ever have to experience even a morsel the pain I have had to deal with in my life.<br />
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And my life has and still is very painful. If I had to bullet point my life it would be something like this:<br />
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<ul><li>Born in 197(something)</li>
<li>Watched mom's battle with cancer</li>
<li>Turned six</li>
<li>Watched mom lose the battle</li>
<li>Learned how family court works</li>
<li>Discovered not all men are 'good' guys</li>
<li>Turned twelve</li>
<li>Tried to find out for myself if there is a such thing a reincarnation</li>
<li>Hospitalized for that 'experement' in life and death</li>
<li>Diagnosed with 'Depression' and 'Emotionally Handicapped'</li>
<li>Turned fourteen</li>
<li>Was reminded that not all men are 'good' guys</li>
<li>Turned sixteen</li>
<li>Declared as an emancipated minor</li>
<li>Turned eighteen</li>
<li>Began my 'gypsy' journey</li>
<li>Had Baby....</li>
</ul>And it only gets more colorful from there.<br />
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So, What am I trying to accomplish? I don't know. Maybe just to share my experiences. Maybe to show others where NOT to go and what NOT to do, or maybe just to 'write it out'. But one thing I do know.....I know what it is like to have 'GingerSNAP days turn into VODKA nights'.<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/54489/282/CC3E33689FB3288DDB30BF329E6552A9.png" style="border: 0 !important; background: transparent;"/></a>Valerie Moorehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04864671958381606622noreply@blogger.com0